I’m Done Hiding – Guest Post by Lori Paquette

August 3, 2011 by  

photo: “awkward pose” by Lori Paquette © 2011

Hi, My Name is Lori. I’m Done Hiding.

No really. I am. done. hiding.

for REALZ.

I’m here, aren’t I?

*incredulous eyeroll from Mean Grrl*


“Your web site is still down.”

Oh, yeah, that. Well *looks down at chipped pedicure*

That happens a lot. I live up in my head with Mean Grrl. She can be downright nasty. She makes it easy for me to hide my light. Easy to procrastinate. Easy to compare myself to others and believe, “they do it better. they know more…. blah blah blah.”

“I’m calling you out on your B.S.!”

I wrote about Mean Grrl. back in November. On my “temporary” blog. It was really harsh. It resonated with a handful of people. Then I retreated back into my shell. My mud puddle. It’s safe there.

I hid in big design projects for other people. I hid in holiday preparations. I hid beneath a mountain of housework, kids’ school and after school activities. I hid in conversations on Facebook and Twitter. I hid in countless self-help books and e-courses.

I hid from myself.

I hid in what I thought was important, because I refused to trust and believe in myself. In my gifts. Refused to trust and believe that I am supported by the divine. by my friends. by my mentors and mastermind peeps. Refused to believe I have anything of value to offer anyone.

I chose to stay in the wings. The stage isn’t set. The website isn’t designed. Blog posts remain halfway written in 4 journals. Because I chose to not trust. The payback is easy — a one way ride on the victim train.

I can hide when the light is dimmed. I don’t have to be, well, me.

Then the spotlight began to widen, creeping into the shadow of my hiding place. It started with the near mental breakdown I had in May. Overwhelmed by overcommitment, being a single mom during the busiest part of school year, dance recitals … all the stuff that I used to hide in, brought me to my knees. I couldn’t design my way out of a paper bag. Lost 2 clients. Didn’t take care of myself.  It took a 2 week bought with the flu in June to finally stop me from barreling blindly down my path. I set boundaries. I said no. I created rituals that would support my health and well-being. I found some good people to help care for my kids. I took time to go offline and be still.

Most importantly, I took some time to have FUN — 3 weeks of volunteering as a band manager for Girls Rock NC summer camp, mentoring 4 bands of girls ages 7-10 and 11-16. It was truly a most rewarding and empowering experience. It also nudged me into the spotlight … literally on stage during the camp showcases, and online through my Instagram feed. I will write more about it on my blog. Yes. The one that’s not live yet.

Now, I admit I am still resisting and hiding as I write this. However, the time has come for me to stop circling the spotlight “like a dog trying to find its comfortable spot to rest,” (as my friend Judi Knight called me out on it), and step into it. Front and Center. Find my voice as I share my stories. Or conduct interviews with clients and my peeps (I always wanted to be a talk show hostess with the mostess). Even simply putting up an “under construction” page for FlirtyGrrl.com is a step forward.

It is time I stop over-mentoring myself and let my Conductor tone step into the light to conduct the symphony.

What actions can I take to make this happen? I’ve listed a few above. What about you? Are you hiding? What can you do to step into the spotlight? How can I help guide you there? I would love to hear from you in the comments below.


Lori Paquette is the adorably badass creative mastermind, spotlight mentor, and resident flirt at FlirtyGrrl.com, a brand spankin’ new visual identity, design and promotion biz. So new that the website is still under construction. The Flirty Grrl mission is to empower like-minded entrepreneurs with an aligned, consistent visual presence along with rockin’ promotional campaigns so their messages are heard loud and clear.

Lori is often found chattering away on Twitter. Follow her @lipdesign and say hi.

Lori’s Soul Languages are: AQ: Mentor, AT: Sun and Tone: Conductor.  To learn more about Lori’s Languages click here.


19 Responses to “I’m Done Hiding – Guest Post by Lori Paquette”

  1. Jennifer Urezzio on August 3rd, 2011 8:31 am

    Lori…you are amazing. Thanks for coming out of hiding!

  2. Al Smith on August 3rd, 2011 8:35 am

    Dam Lori, I love this post. I was doin the same shit for awhile, but I am going for it, Baby ! Woo Hoo ! Launching my new website and services this weekend, with the help of some incredible people. Most notably, JK Allen, the Hustler. He is Awesome.

    Anyway, so proud of you for writing this and sharing your soul.
    Powerful stuff, Girl. You are going to ROCK the house, Girl !!

    You got me fired up ! ………….. Again ! Ha ! Thanks.

    “We are going to change the world …… one person at a time”


  3. Erin Margolin on August 3rd, 2011 10:10 am

    YAY for you!!! I’ve been hiding a bit myself….mud puddles are cool and comforting. As is my bed. And my house.

    I’ve been in a slump and not very good at taking care of myself or this baby lately..so I can relate to soooo much of this.

    Thank you.
    LOVE YOU, partner!

  4. Stephanie Thirolle on August 3rd, 2011 11:13 am

    Hey Lori — loved this! I’m hiding too but trying desperately to come out and play. Can I come play with you?


  5. Lori on August 3rd, 2011 11:37 am

    Thank you, Jennifer, for giving me a forum to come out into. I so appreciate all the love, support and guidance you have given me over the past year and a half.

    Al, I’m glad that I fired you up. That is something I do, and will keep in mind as I work on my “services” content. Changing the world one person at a time is brilliant! Let’s do it. So looking forward to your launch. ping me on Twitter, K?

    Oh, Erin, you have inspired me more than you know. There are times when the comfort of the mud puddle and bed are important … being still to listen. and to rest! LOVE YOU.

    You can play with me any time, Stephanie!! We need to plan some fun time together.

  6. Jamie Mastin on August 3rd, 2011 2:35 pm

    Lori…you are awesome, as you always are, even when all muddy! I miss you, and am glad to hear you are stepping out…providing an inspiration to the rest of us hole finders. Hope to see you soon!

  7. Jill Lenzmeier on August 3rd, 2011 2:42 pm

    Lori, this is so beautiful. Coming out of hiding can be both scary and empowering. Everything you said above is exactly what I have experienced. Thank you so much for coming out of hiding and sharing it here. Keep sharing your story. Its what this world needs. Keep shining.

  8. Maren Wryn on August 3rd, 2011 8:23 pm

    You had me at “done hiding.” Congratulations! You’ve come so far already. Just picking up speed now. Wonderful, inspiring blog. Were all here to support you, even from our own hiding places. ;D

  9. Kathy Smyly Miller on August 3rd, 2011 10:49 pm

    Wow! This is so powerful! Thank you for sharing it with the community.

  10. Monica Wilcox on August 3rd, 2011 11:23 pm

    Lori, you were given a voice and ability for a reason. Time to shine in it!!

  11. Lori on August 4th, 2011 2:02 pm

    @Jamie: “providing an inspiration to the rest of us hole finders” — can I pay you for that Jamie? Great line to use in my elevator speech. Thanks for sharing. I look forward to seeing you soon!

    @Jill: It is scary and empowering! I admit for the past 2 days I feel very empowered. I look forward to sharing more on my new site … looking at the calendar to pick a “go live” date to hold me to it. 🙂

    @Maren: I love you! You have been so supportive and inspiring for the past, gosh, 2 years? Even when you hide behind pretty flowers. I know you’re true beauty! I’ll ping you when the blog is ready

    @Kathy Thank you! I look forward to us getting further acquainted here and on Facebook. This Soul Language Community is just amazing. Jennifer rocks my socks!

    @Monica: I am printing out your comment. It will be glued on my journal cover. 🙂 Thank you

  12. Lisa Robbin Young on August 4th, 2011 4:16 pm

    You did it! So proud of you. Can’t wait to see the background for the new site.

    Luv you!

  13. Syda on August 4th, 2011 4:50 pm

    Loved this! Because it’s what I’m doing…hiding behind the to-do-lists, parenting, laundry, house management, Facebook, Twitter, comparing, purging, reorganizing….Thank you for sharing this!

  14. Lori Latimer on August 4th, 2011 6:25 pm

    Oh my friend, I am soooo proud of you! So many of us (yes, me too!) take a step out there, and then retreat. Take another step out, and retreat again. So maybe if we all jump out there together, it won’t be quite so frightening.

    Keep shining. The glow just keeps getting bigger.


  15. Lori on August 5th, 2011 1:44 pm

    I did do it, Lisa! Thanks for extra loving nudge! 🙂

    Please know, Syda, you’re not alone. We all hide at some time. Let me know how I can help!

    *big grin* Lori Latimer … 🙂 thank you, especially for your support while I was hiding. xoxo

  16. Judi Knight on August 5th, 2011 2:40 pm

    So glad you have come out of hiding. Girls Rock Camp was just the right medicine for your soul. It’s so easy to get in our safe ruts and sometimes it is a necessary period of regathering and regrouping. But as our friend Sarah Robinson said to me recently when I was dawdling about doing my Big Dog Series, It doesn’t get any easier to jump the longer we stand on the edge of that cliff looking down.

  17. Lori on August 5th, 2011 4:05 pm

    Thank you, Judi! Sage advice. I really took your comment during the Big Dog Series about circling the light to heart. Thank you for being so supportive. Looking forward to more cliff jumping!

  18. Frank Dickinson on August 5th, 2011 9:25 pm

    I have the biggest smile on my face right now.

    You know I have been waiting for this post for over a year now – and good god am I glad it’s here.

    If your light on your upcoming blog (no pressure there eh?) shines as bright as your comments, conversation and tweets – you have nothing to worry about Lori.

    The blogosphere – and the world need you.


  19. Lori on August 12th, 2011 1:59 pm

    I love you @FrankDickinson . You inspire me. If I can build community and shine in the blogosphere like you, I have nothing to worry about. No pressure. Gave myself August 19 soft launch; August 26th drop dead date. On vacation this week. Kids back to school August 25th so I’m giving myself the “holy crap why is there so much to do before school starts?” buffer! 😉

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