Lisa’s Soul Language Tone: Driver
The last special holiday where we were together as a family, one of my dearest loved ones woke up in a very bad mood; crashing around the kitchen, muttering and grumbling, feeling frustrated with whatever crossed his path. It wasn’t the fairy tale beginning I had hoped for.
In the past, I would’ve also been frustrated with a story in my head about why he was acting that way or why he was trying to spoil our day. I could’ve easily escalated this negative energy.
Instead, I chose to embrace the wisdom shared with me by Janet Attwood: “There are three businesses in this world: Your business, my business, God’s business.”
Peace is when I accept that what someone else is doing or saying or how they’re behaving is none of my business. It’s not my story, and it has nothing to do with me. What others live out and act out is a direct reflection of their personal thoughts and perceptions, which I have no control over. Nor do I want control. It’s their business and their journey to reach understanding and learn from their thoughts and patterns. This was a pattern of his I was very familiar with. I was able to lovingly detach.
Callan Rush: “Meet them where they are then take them where you want them to go.”
He needed to work through his mood in his way. I met him with understanding and let him have his time and space. I wanted him to be happy with us so I decided the best way to do that was for me to do what makes me happy. I made a lovely breakfast, I leisurely checked my email, I relaxed with some reading and I suggested a walk. Pretty soon, he was happy again and enjoying the day with us.
Betska K. Burr: “It’s all about the client and their needs.” (I saw him as my client and I was going to take the coach approach)
I avoided the word “why”. Why are you doing this? Why are you acting this way today? Why is so judgmental. Instead, when the time was right, I took the How and What approach.
What would make this a great day for you?
How can I support you right now?
We ended up enjoying a great day.
Who is someone who needs your loving detachment and how can you give them that for a peaceful outcome?
Lisa Chell is president of Ultimate Clarity Incorporated and specializes in coaching leaders, managers and decision makers to lead with both logic and heart. As a speaker and coach, she focuses on fresh, instantly usable, breakthrough ideas which give you an easy, immediate action plan that helps you be the leader of your life so you can empower others to do the same.
She is a licensed and accredited Senior certified and Group certified Power Coach with Mind Kinetics as well as an active member of the Canadian Association of Professional Speakers.
Lisa is also co-author in the book Succeeding in Spite of Everything soon to be released on June 5 2012.