On July 6th, my father, Raymond Urezzio Jr, died. That news alone would be heartbreaking but we (his kids) didn’t find out until a week later. I received a direct message via Facebook from a relative that I hadn’t seen since I was 8. The fury, the panic, and the pain that followed was truthfully enormous. We (my brother and myself) tried for years to have some sort of relationship with our father. Unfortunately, for all involved, he would never even meet us an eighth of the way. This past Saturday was the memorial service; we weren’t invited nor did we attend. I have spent the last week truly grateful for this situation. Why? I found my source of ultimate strength — compassion. I also know that all the life balancing, intuitive tools in my toolbox work.
Someone recently said to me that a funeral was for the living, not the dead. I agree with that statement. Not going to the memorial service, how would I have closure? My life and my work is already shifting to create new tools from this profound moment — Tools to Help with Loss. It hit me on my Sunday morning walk. The best way to honor my father was to honor myself (and my brother; see above picture) and to pass on what I now know to my community — YOU.
Before each tip there is a tribute. Thank you in advance for being part of the tribute.
3 Ways to Honor YOU!
1. Be Generous With Yourself
Tribute: My brother, R.J., is one of the most generous people I have ever met. I know this from experience and because I often hear from others acts of immense kindness that my brother does. He always selects the perfect gifts for me and often can’t wait until the gift giving occasion.
Tip: Where are you not being generous with yourself? Not taking time for you? Not putting money aside for something you desire? Not giving yourself enough credit? Today, notice where your generosity is faulting for yourself. Then, take a breath and ask yourself how can you be more generous to yourself in that situation?
2. Find Your Ultimate Strength
Tribute: My brother called me the “strongest woman in the world” this past week. Part of me laughs at this statement and part of me goes, yeah, I can see that. My goal is not to be the strongest woman in the world. My goal is to be the strongest me in my world. My strength came from going within and feeling the compassion for everyone involved in the situation. By the way, I believe my Mom is the strongest woman in the world.
Tip: Find where your strength lies. Take a moment and ground yourself. Ask your higher self what is your word of strength. Now ask your body to show you what that feels like in your entire body. This is your ultimate strength.
3. Accept the Support
Tribute: Each person that I told about the situation said the same thing, “what can I do for you?” It has brought my family (my mom, my brother, his wife and his son) closer together. I am no longer accepting individuals in my life that do not support me 100 percent.
Tip: I challenge you to ask and receive the kind of support in your life that you desire. No settling for second best. Determine what you desire from relationships and then accept the support of the Universe to receive that type of relationship. All others that don’t fit that desire, let go of the attachment for them to be different. Honor yourself by honoring what you desire.